After suffering from flu like symptoms for more than 3 months, myself and my husband decided that I had better go to the ER. Now, the ER was not my first place of choice, but I had already been to my regular physician. The time I finally realized that I needed to go to a doctor was when I was constantly taking Advil: An Advil a day just to function was obviously not normal. I knew that. So, a doctor visit at the Er on the day of December 29, 2011, changed my life forever. Brent and I thought she was coming in to tell me I had Pneumonia, but it wasn't that at all. The nurse (who was precious, btw) proceeded to explain to us that the X-ray showed that I had an 10 cm mass in my left lung. She then explained to me that I also have a lymph node in my neck that was swollen. The next part was the scary part. She told us that the cancer that I have is called Hodgkins Lymphoma. "Cancer?????????!!" This was my immediate reaction. In complete disbelief all I could do was look at Brent, and scream out the words, "Cancer? What? Cancer? What?" The next couple of hours involved a lot of crying, calling family, and confusion. How could this happen to me? Not possible, right? Wrong. Cancer doesn't care. Cancer doesn't care if I have Muscular Dystrophy already, or if anyone else has other things in their life they deal with on a daily basis already. The night we found out, I broke down a total of two times. That was it. That was all. Brent took it hard, obviously. He is so strong, though. He hasn't broke down in front of me not once. He is my rock, and my strength. Over the next few days there were a lot of doctor visits, and a lot of appointments made. It was overwhelming to say the least.
First thing was first: The lymph node from my neck had to be removed and tested to set in stone the "Hodgkins Lymphoma". After that, I had to have my port placed in my chest for chemo treatments. After all of that was done, treatments were to begin. Chemo every two weeks. for six months. Let me just say, chemo is not the most pleasant thing in the world. For about five days afterwards, I am as sick as a dog. The bed, and nausea medicine are all that matter.
Here I am now, it's February. My hair has been falling out slowly all month, so last night my husband helped me shave it all off. The last thing I need is a constant reminder that I have cancer. I will not live with this constantly thinking about it. I realize I have it, I have accepted it, but I will not let it hold me back and let me lose myself or who I am. I will remain the silly, fun spirit that I am. I am bald now, but I do have beautiful scarves to cover up what cancer has taken from me. My wonderful, amazing, and strong husband has shaved his head as well for me. He rocks! People stare. They wonder, I know. I don't feel embarrassed though. God knows that I am a strong person, and I can handle this. I have an amazing family, and wonderful people in my life who inspire and encourage me daily.
Though this journey I am having to walk through is hard, I have a sister in Christ who is also facing the same thing as I. Stephanie Tini and her mom, who my mom connected with on a HL support group, was diagnosed the same week as I, with the same cancer. Steph is the same age as me. When my mom told me about her, and her condition as of right now, I cried. I will not speak about Steph's condition, but I know she is beautiful, strong, and we are going to get through this together, and meet one day. After all of this over and we both BEAT this. I already love her and her family. They are truly amazing people.
Although this is hard, I know I will beat this. After living half of my life with Muscular Dystrophy and facing day to day challenges, I refuse to let cancer get in the way of my goals and aspirations. I hope to one day inspire young girls who are facing and fighting cancer. I know that is what God wants for me, and my life. Thanks for reading this if you did:) It means a lot to me. Love you guys!
-Fighting like a girl!
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