Chemo: It's a bitter sweet kind of thing.

Today, I had my 2nd treatment for my second round of chemo. It went really good, as it always does. The second day is when the "sicky" feeling starts, and then caries on for five days after that. My Dr. wants me to start slowly coming off of my nausea medicine. Dr. Lobo informed me of his wisdom today by telling me this: He says that I am so young, and I have not had time to experience life, that is why I am so sick after chemo. That is why I can't control my anxiety, and I get all worked up about it. He says that older people, say in their 50's, have been through life, they have experienced things, therefor they know how to handle being sick after chemo. It was really enlightening. So, for three days after chemo I can take my medicine around the clock, but after the three days, I should only take it when I am feeling sick. I hope this means my nausea will go away soon! I hate it so much. I can deal with being in bed for five days, but the nausea is just terrible. Here I am complaining and I can only imagine what my friend Steph is going through. I am so glad she is coming through and doing better though. I feel I can speak for both of us when I say that chemo is a bitter sweet thing, because although it is killing our cancer, it feels like it's killing us when it's in our system. Anyone who has been through ABVD of other kinds of chemo knows exactly what I am talking about. Anyways, I have officially started a TREND, and I call it "Painted purple for HL!" Paint your nails purple ladies in support for the girls fighting Hodgkins Lymphoma. It's funny when you sit back and take a look at your life. You never expect to get something like cancer. Something that actually has the potential to take your life. It's something that can't be understood, I have come to learn. It just is. I'm not sure what God's plan for me is through all of this, but I know He has one for me. It's an amazing thing knowing that He is in this with me, and that he has a reason for this. I find such comfort in knowing that. I can't explain to anyone how much faith I have gained through everything that has happened to me in the past few months. How outstanding is His love???!! Right? Wow. Well, I guess I'm done. Just thought I would let you all know what's going on this head of mine :) Thanks for reading! I'll keep blogging, you all keep reading!

-Faith, Hope, and Love!
http://youtu.be/t7F-B2DLvAQ

Friends like this don't come along everyday..

My BEST FRIEND, Laura Dowd. Today I would have to question: What would I do without her? She is here for me no matter what. I mean that so literally. I can honestly say without a doubt I have never had a better friend. We have been through many things together, the hard times, the great times, and the not so great times. I wouldn't have it any other way. Laura and I go WAY back. Seventh grade back. We have known each other a LONG time, but we have only been best friends for two years :) Funny how things work out, huh? When I worked at SEC Apparel in the mall, she came in a few times and those few times, we just talked. We talked, talked, talked, and talked! And the rest is history! This girl is amazing. Anyone who knows Laura should know that. Also, you should know that if your a slow walker, don't expect her to walk right next to you when ya'll go shopping! (She will leave you) Haha! Be ready to be in stitches from laughing so hard when your around her, too. So, anyways basically what I'm trying to get to here is she is one amazing/true/honest/best friend anyone could ask for. I am so thankful for her, and that she came into my life. I sincerely believe God places people in our lives for reasons, and I know in my heart Laura is one of those people for my life. The night we found out I had cancer, she LEFT her job to come and be with me. Now, if that isn't a friend, I don't know what is. She didn't even know what to say to me that night. All she could do was cry. I hugged her, and cried with her. She has always been here for me, and I am always going to be there for her. I know we are going to be little old ladies together one day! :) So, if you are as lucky as I am and have a wonderful friend like her, then hold on to them! They don't come along everyday! And when you have such a great friend like that, you really don't want to lose that. I love you goo! FOREVERRRRR!!

Inspiration

'The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative.'


Over the past few months I have met so many inspiring people. Some of those inspiring people were already in my life, but a lot were also new people. I met Jennifer on the night of my hat and scarf part at Ruby Tuesday's. Jennifer had breast cancer, and she has been one of the people who have been encouraging to me. She is awesome, because she wanted to help me, and keep me staying positive. She introduced herself to me, and I am so thankful for that. She gave me a journal to keep so that I could keep track of my chemo treatments and everything that is going on in my life. Just something to keep so I can write down my thoughts, and other things. It has been really helpful to me. There is nothing like writing, and getting out what you feel. Just like prayer has power, so does writing. Anyways, I'm getting off subject here. Jennifer is an amazing woman. Although we are not that close, I So, thank you Jennifer. Another amazing woman who has had an impact on me through this is my mom. My mom took me having cancer really hard, as a parent obviously would. She tries so hard for me to hold it together, when I know all she really wants to do all of the time is break down and just cry for me. She loves me so deeply, and I could not ask for a more strong and courage's mom. She knows that everything will be all right, and that I will soon beat this.

Anyways, Inspiring people are just amazing. I am so incredibly grateful to have people in my life like I do. I would not be this strong without any of them. I'm strong because I know that God has my back to the FULLEST. Cancer will NOT keep my faith from me. I am more faithful that I have ever been before. I am closer to God than I have ever been before. So, for that I guess you could say I thank cancer in some way.

For all of you strangers who post prayers on my Carringbridge page: THANK YOU. Your prayers and concerns mean so much to me. I don't even know you, and yet you care so deeply for me. Also, for those of you who I do know that post on my Carringbridge, thank you as well. Your words are so powerful, and they mean more to me then some of you many realize.


-Thanks for the inspiration:)

The day that changed my life..

                               

After suffering from flu like symptoms for more than 3 months, myself and my husband decided that I had better go to the ER. Now, the ER was not my first place of choice, but I had already been to my regular physician. The time I finally realized that I needed to go to a doctor was when I was constantly taking Advil: An Advil a day just to function was obviously not normal. I knew that. So, a doctor visit at the Er on the day of December 29, 2011, changed my life forever. Brent and I thought she was coming in to tell me I had Pneumonia, but it wasn't that at all. The nurse (who was precious, btw) proceeded to explain to us that the X-ray showed that I had an 10 cm mass in my left lung. She then explained to me that I also have a lymph node in my neck that was swollen. The next part was the scary part. She told us that the cancer that I have is called Hodgkins Lymphoma. "Cancer?????????!!" This was my immediate reaction. In complete disbelief all I could do was look at Brent, and scream out the words, "Cancer? What? Cancer? What?" The next couple of hours involved a lot of crying, calling family, and confusion. How could this happen to me? Not possible, right? Wrong. Cancer doesn't care. Cancer doesn't care if I have Muscular Dystrophy already, or if anyone else has other things in their life they deal with on a daily basis already. The night we found out, I broke down a total of two times. That was it. That was all. Brent took it hard, obviously. He is so strong, though. He hasn't broke down in front of me not once. He is my rock, and my strength. Over the next few days there were a lot of doctor visits, and a lot of appointments made. It was overwhelming to say the least. 

         First thing was first: The lymph node from my neck had to be removed and tested to set in stone the "Hodgkins Lymphoma". After that, I had to have my port placed in my chest for chemo treatments. After all of that was done, treatments were to begin. Chemo every two weeks. for six months. Let me just say, chemo is not the most pleasant thing in the world. For about five days afterwards, I am as sick as a dog. The bed, and nausea medicine are all that matter. 

          

           Here I am now, it's February. My hair has been falling out slowly all month, so last night my husband helped me shave it all off. The last thing I need is a constant reminder that I have cancer. I will not live with this constantly thinking about it. I realize I have it, I have accepted it, but I will not let it hold me back and let me lose myself or who I am. I will remain the silly, fun spirit that I am. I am bald now, but I do have beautiful scarves to cover up what cancer has taken from me. My wonderful, amazing, and strong husband has shaved his head as well for me. He rocks! People stare. They wonder, I know. I don't feel embarrassed though. God knows that I am a strong person, and I can handle this. I have an amazing family, and wonderful people in my life who inspire and encourage me daily. 

          

            Though this journey I am having to walk through is hard, I have a sister in Christ who is also facing the same thing as I. Stephanie Tini and her mom, who my mom connected with on a HL support group, was diagnosed the same week as I, with the same cancer. Steph is the same age as me. When my mom told me about her, and her condition as of right now, I cried. I will not speak about Steph's condition, but I know she is beautiful, strong, and we are going to get through this together, and meet one day. After all of this over and we both BEAT this. I already love her and her family. They are truly amazing people. 

          Although this is hard, I know I will beat this. After living half of my life with Muscular Dystrophy and facing day to day challenges, I refuse to let cancer get in the way of my goals and aspirations. I hope to one day inspire young girls who are facing and fighting cancer. I know that is what God wants for me, and my life. Thanks for reading this if you did:) It means a lot to me. Love you guys!

-Fighting like a girl!